honestly...

In writing a personal lifestyle blog such as this, there's a thin line between honesty and talking too much; I want to convey my experiences as a college student as honestly as possible, but I'm afraid of putting too much of myself out into the world, especially considering that this is a TOTALLY open blog that anyone in the world has access to. Anyone! A scary thought, that anyone anywhere could be reading about my life...then again, I started this blog knowing that risk. Anyways... honesty. It's sometimes hard to be completely honest, because eventually someone would read something and get hurt, or I'd say something that someone could use against me. I have had far too many friends that have lost jobs or employment opportunities due to things they've said on blogs/twitter/facebook (though really, WHY they said some of the things they did is beyond me). In any case, it would suck. Then again, why do I bother writing a blog if I can't be completely honest about my college experience? It's not all rainbows and sunshine, not every person I've met has been amazing, not all of my classes/professors are perfect (despite that I'm at one of the best schools in the country), life isn't always perfect, etc. It's a conundrum, and I'm honestly still debating what to do about it.

In any case, tonight's the night--tomorrow I finish my first semester at Cal. I have to finish writing my advertising paper and continue studying for Media Studies...so. close. !!!! I was feeling pretty down earlier, but talking to my family and my best friend on the phone definitely gave me the motivation I needed to just get it done. Tomorrow's going to be a long day, but after it's over...that's it, my first semester at Berkeley will be totally over. I'm excited, but nervous! Expect a recap post once I get home. Wednesday I'll be packing all day (since I need to pack for LA, Israel, and NYC!) and then Thursday I will be flying home! I could not BE more excited.

One more crazy scholarly night, and I'm free until the 19th of January. I can do it!

P.S. - Could I have possibly used the word "honestly" anymore?! Honestly!

overwhemled (1)

I'm overwhelmed. Talking to a good friend, they suggested I go to bed, rest, and wake up refreshed and ready to take on my workload one piece at a time. Good advice...given to me two (unproductive) hours ago. Whoops.

Honestly, why is it so hard to be productive? I'm smart, so why is this so hard? I'd like to blame the media for creating our short attention spans...but really, I hate that I can't just sit down and focus. I'm trying so hard not to put everything off, but at the same time, I can't just sit down and get it all done. I have two papers due a week from tomorrow, and though I have outlines for both (one on the iPhone campaign and one on Studio 60) I haven't actually started writing either...and let's not even get into the reading I haven't done. It's not like I'm going out and partying, though, I just sit at home and get distracted! Whether it be writing in my journal, updating my blog, or emailing my best friend, there's always something else that I'm doing. I know, I know, discipline, and when that doesn't work, there's always Self-Control. Goddamn. And the thing was, even though I didn't get what I needed to done, I did a lot: went to work, talked to GSI's for two different classes, made a new friend to study with, sat in the grass under a tree (which consequently reminded me of that Gilmore Girls episode, when Rory is exploring Yale to find the "perfect tree" to study under), did some reading for GWS, wrote two letters, wrote a four page journal entry, went to class (and paid attention...intersectionality is so intense!), studied with friends, went to dinner...it's just when I got home that all of the sudden I just...stopped. I don't know, I guess this is something I'm going to have to learn to deal with, and overcome. It's just hard.

I should go to bed, I've got a long day tomorrow.