I'm in Los Angeles for the week, taking care of my brother. It's been an odd week; my parents aren't home, so I'm the grown-up making sure everything gets taken care of. I've seen some friends but not very many, though that's my fault on account of bad planning. However, on Wednesday I went to Disneyland with Sarah, Serena, and Marie and it was one of the best trips to Disneyland I've ever had. Sixteen hours of fun, food, laughter, and ~magic~...it was a perfect day, and a reminder of how lucky I am to be surrounded by some of the best people I've ever met.
Whenever I'm feeling sad, this is one of the first songs I put on. It's such a comforting song and I find that it fits a variety of moods and situations. It's very different from the original Velvet Underground song, yet it's still one of my favorite covers of all time.
First of all, check out the new header, layout, and "About Me" page! It's about time I make some changes, both blog-wise and life-wise.
I'm figuring out what I want to do after college, and the realization I came to the other day was that I'm still not sure. Law school seemed like a great option, and I'm genuinely interested in it, but at the end of the day I'm not convinced that it's my path. I'm doing a lot of research into graduate programs and so far they seem like a better fit than law school. I haven't made any official decisions yet, but I'm weighing my options and trying to figure out what fits best. That's what growing up is, I think, the ability to make choices and figure out what's best for oneself. All I want is to be happy, and I think finding a career that won't make me hate my life will go a long way towards that. Right now, it's just a matter of finding out what that career will be.
The only way to describe how I'm feeling at this moment is to think of Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire when he's just made a deal and he's driving on the freeway and "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers comes on. I've just had an epiphany of sorts and I think I know what I want to do next year (or rather, what I don't want to do) and I'm excited that I'm not totally lost. At least, that's how I feel right now :)
The scene, for reference:
The original song, for those who haven't heard it all the way through:
And the John Mayer cover of the song, which despite ridicule from my best friend is one of my favorite songs/covers:
Last week I couldn't get out of bed; this week all I want to do is walk around cities I've yet to explore. The common denominator would be that both allow me the opportunity to stop and think about what I want to do with my life...writing or law, law or writing? I still don't know, and I can't help but feel as if my time is running out. I'm honestly torn, and I'm no closer to making a decision today than I was six months ago. One night I have a revelation and decide "Screw school! I want to write!" only to find myself researching law programs twenty minutes later, and then looking at graduate film programs an hour after that. Indecision is a bitch, and I'm tired of stressing out about this. A sign from the universe would be appreciated!
Summer is going well. I've had the apartment to myself for the past two weeks, and as much as it's fun pretending that I have my own place I'm excited for my housemates to get back. Lately I've been enjoying just being by myself; I've come to realize that there really are a very, very small number of people I can depend on, so why bother? A cynical view, I'm sure, but the truth of the matter is that as you grow up, people fall by the wayside. The more attached you are, the more it hurts when relationships disintegrate. I've always been the one to throw myself into friendships and relationships 110% and very rarely is it ever equally reciprocated. I'm done wearing my heart on my sleeve and I'm done always being available for people. Why should I be there if they're not there for me? This is one of those things I've learned while growing up; not an easy lesson but an important one.
Anyways...summer is good. Enjoying my solitude, trying out a lot of new recipes, exploring San Francisco, walking around Berkeley, working out, writing (despite this article, becoming a screenwriter is still my dream), helping to plan my baby brother's bar mitzvah (as he's soon to be a man!), etc etc. Oh, and studying for the LSAT once more, as I've decided that I want to take it again to see how I'll do a second time around. It's uninteresting perhaps, but it's simple life and I'm fairly content. Especially considering that this fall is going to be really busy, I'm glad that I have the time to cook and watch The West Wing all day. What more could I ask for?
And with that, I leave you with one of my favorite West Wing moments of season 2.
