blackbird.

Lately, I can't sleep. I brush my teeth, turn off my computer and the lights, play a game of solitaire and attempt to fall asleep. For the last couple of weeks, it's failed. I've tried everything, from hot tea to soothing music, and none of it has been working. For some reason or another, I have too much on my mind to be able to rest, and the last couple of nights I've had a variety of strange dreams when I DO manage to fall asleep. Last night was ridiculous; after the LSAT I got home, ate dinner, watched a couple of episodes of Buffy and attempted to go to bed at 11:00pm, only to be awake until 4:00am. When I did fall asleep, I managed to have one of the most upsetting dreams in recent history; needless to say, I didn't feel very rested when I woke up this morning. I honestly don't know why I'm so stressed; I'm done with the LSAT and despite having tons to do for my AA job, I have a lot of free time now! Time to sleep, read, write, eat, cook, photograph, explore, enjoy...so why am I feeling so anxious? Gah. Hopefully this is just a phase.

Other than that, things are pretty damn good. My first program is on Saturday (watching the USA v. England game!), so I have to put that together but I'm really excited about it. And, a week from Thursday, my mom and brother will be up in Berkeley, and I'm so excited to see them! It's been too long and I really miss spending time with them. I'm excited that it's FINALLY summer and that I can take the time to really take care of and nurture myself. It's time for me to stop looking back at this past year, as amazing as it was, and start applying more time to thinking about not only the future, but the present as well. Life is good, and it's time to enjoy it!