It has been over a month since I've updated; though I could offer a million valid excuses, I'll just hang my head and apologize as sincerely as possible. I've sat down to write several times, but every time I do I'll stare at the empty white space and forget whatever it was that seemed so important to talk about. It's one of the worst cases of writer's block I've ever had, unable to write truth or fiction. My screenplay, written and visualized in my head, has been trapped; my memories and stories all seem trivial, so I push them aside to make room for something else. All of my energy towards writing has been going towards my schoolwork, and even then it's hard figuring out what I want to say. In any case, I hope to return to regular updates, though I doubt that anyone reads this other than myself and my mother.
This past month has been absolutely hectic, wonderful, awful, heartbreaking, eye-opening, amazing, chaotic, and stressful. Making the decision to take a year off once I graduate in May to figure out what I want to do with my life was one of the best, at least so far; it's one less thing to worry about right now, and with everything I've got going on--three upper-division classes, one class that I'm teaching with my friend, two jobs, clubs, and friends--one less thing to worry about is the best feeling in the world. I don't have much time to dedicate to studying for a standardized exam or working on applications, and so to not have to worry about that right now is definitely a relief. However, I'm definitely being a lot harder on myself in terms of academics; my goal is a 4.0 and I'm working with my advisor to write my honors thesis in the spring. I'm currently studying suburban families in contemporary American sitcoms for my research methods class and currently working on a content analysis, and writing a paper on gender roles in The Godfather for my Gender & Media class. As busy as I am, I love absolutely everything I'm learning and I'm trying to soak in as much as possible while I'm still at Cal.
There's also a summer internship at the Berkman Center for Internet & Society at Harvard that I am DYING to apply for; though my first love will always be screenwriting, I'd definitely argue that my interest is in the internet and the way people utilize it is no passing fancy. It's something that has always intrigued me, and something that still remains a vastly unexplored field, meaning that there's definitely a lot of groundbreaking research to be done. It's something that affects me personally, as well as something that affects absolutely everyone I know...what could be more interesting?! In any case, it's an idea of a possible career path and hopefully applying for and getting an internship would allow me to see if it's something I'd want to pursue more.
My job as an Apartment Assistant is good. I can't go into specifics, due to confidentiality and respect for my residents and my staff, but I can say that although it's a hell of a lot more demanding than I ever imagined, it's also a lot more rewarding that I thought possible. It's crazy but I love it, and I'm really glad I get the opportunity to do this job.
Life is pretty good. Sarah came up last weekend and we saw Band of Horses perform at the Greek in Berkeley! Definitely one of the best concerts I've ever seen; we were in the front row and it was absolutely perfect. Despite being so busy that I had to miss Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in order to try and get some work done, last night I went to go see Going the Distance and The Social Network. Both were excellent, and despite being able to clearly relate them to points I'm learning in class it was a nice mental break. Now it's time to buckle down and work, especially since my 21st birthday is on Monday!