and so it begins...

Yesterday afternoon, I was notified that I was accepted at the University of California, Los Angeles.

The anxiety had really gotten to me--I had felt sick all morning, because the stress between UCLA releasing notifications (which weren't actually released until late afternoon) and my two midterms was too much.

Somehow, through some miracles, yesterday ended up being amazing. My Russian history midterm was moved to Monday, I'm sure that I aced my Spanish midterm, I was accepted to UCLA (!), and then went out to a wonderful dinner with my family.

I honestly could not be happier. Being accepted somewhere out of high school is amazing, yes, but it's also a game of luck. I know plenty of ridiculously smart and qualified people that didn't get into where they wanted to go (myself included, ha). Transferring...it gives me a true sense of accomplishment; I know that I worked hard and truly earned my acceptance. There are still no guarantees, of course, but it's a much sturdier ground to be standing on while waiting for these decisions to be made. And I'm not saying that people who got somewhere out of high school didn't earn it, I am SURE that they did, but to be rejected and still work another two years and attempt once again is a trying experience that not all are able to do.

I know that there's a lot of people who thought it was "beneath me" to go to a community college for two years, and at first, I had that same mentality. I was an Honors/AP student all throughout high school, head editor of the yearbook, co-director of the school's literary magazine--and I was going to a community college? No way! My best friend was going to USC, I had friends that were going everywhere from Berkeley to UCLA to Princeton...and I was going to a community college? It just seemed a bit out of the pattern, and it was definitely not where I envisioned myself.

However, as the weather began to cool down and the leaves began to change colors that fall, things had slowly started to fall into place. I was accepted into the Scholars Program, which I can most definitely say changed my life. I met other people who were going through exactly what I was going through, who knew what it felt like to be rejected, who knew what it felt like to be stuck when everyone else seemed to be going places. One of my better friends had been salutatorian of her graduating class and her unlikely rejection to UCLA broke her heart*. All of us came with these sorts of stories and burdens and it really helped us bond a close friendship. To have people going through the exact things that I was going through at the same time was a blessing.

At the end of the day, to a community college ended up being the best thing I've ever done. I not only saved TONS of money, but I made lifelong friends, matured, got my license, got an incredible education, figured out what I want to do with my life, and really began to get a sense of who I am/who I want to become.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Berkeley, and although it would mean the world to me if I got accepted...I've got options, and a future, and I am so, so excited to experience it.

*She just found out she got accepted to UCLA too! :D

anxiety vs excitement

You know that feeling when you're trying to fall asleep and you know something exciting is going to happen the next day, like a trip to Disneyland or your birthday? You're trying so hard to fall asleep, because you so desperately want it to be the next day but your mind is filled with all of the exciting promise that tomorrow holds and you can't sleep. As a child, this is one of the best feelings in the world, because anything and everything is possible.

It's definitely what I'm experiencing right now, as tomorrow UCLA will start to send out admissions notifications. However, I wouldn't say that it's one of the best feelings in the world anymore. I'm a transfer student, so I get the pleasure of not only waiting two years to transfer, but a whole extra month* of waiting to find out where I've been accepted. UCLA isn't my top choice, that would be Berkeley, but it's still one of my top options and something I really want. I've worked ridiculously hard over these two years, and to see my achievements recognized would be wonderful.

The thing is, as you grow up you don't just think of all the exciting things that are going to happen, but all of the bad things that can happen as well. You learn that "anything and everything" isn't always necessarily a good thing.

For example, take Disneyland. As exciting as the idea of a day of fun, friends, Space Mountain, Mickey Mouse, and churros is, I can't help but worry about the traffic, the crowds, and the weather. As a kid, you're oblivious to all of those things, but as you grow, you start to realize they've been there all along. You start to realize if you're one of those people who gets excited or anxious, if the glass is half-full or half-empty.

I realize that admissions are a different story, and something with more at stake than a trip to see Mickey, yet the feeling remains the same. UCLA can say yes, or they can say no, and I'm going to have to deal with the reality of either situation when it arises. I can't help but be excited on the one hand--I've been waiting since I submitted my application at the end of November to find out the results. On the other hand, I'm totally anxious and scared to even think about checking because once I know the results, I'm going to have to deal with them.

UCLA starts to update tomorrow, and I should know by Monday. By April 30, I'll know about Berkeley and UCSD as well. I don't hear back from USC until June 1, so I'm not even going to worry about that. Worst come to worst, I've already been accepted to UC Irvine, UC Davis, and Cal State Northridge, and I'll figure it out from there. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on my classes right now--I have TWO midterms tomorrow, which are currently distracting me from thinking about UCLA and Cal. I guess studying the demise of the Romanov dynasty does that for me. After I finish with the Romanovs and the Bolsheviks I'll study Spanish and then finally go to bed, hoping for that childhood excitement to come back.




*Freshman applicants find out end of March, transfer applicants find out end of April.

Introduction.

Hi there!

I've decided to scrap what I had and start this blog from scratch...hopefully I can find a niche that will attract a few followers. My name is Andrea, and I'm an average college student, currently attending a local community college and transferring in the fall. I enjoy going to the movies, going up to the Griffith Observatory, reading about tsars, and taking pictures of everything I see. I like art museums and theater, but I also like video games and television. I'm a pretty well-rounded person, and I like to think that I give out decent advice based on real life experiences (although I'm not the best at taking my own advice).

I think this blog is going to be a potpourri of opinions, reviews, life lessons~, and the such; I hope that you enjoy!

xo,
Andrea