this time tomorrow.

Summer has been a flurry of hellos and goodbyes, new recipes and old movies, aches and pains, solitude and growth.

Positive things: This past week, I got to see a lot of friends, and it was nice to be around so many wonderful people. I've been cooking a lot more (and documenting it!), trying new recipes and cooking with friends. It's been great! My friend Sierra and I made a list of a variety of different recipes we'd like to try and I cannot wait to post them! I'm also excited that I get to see what is arguably my favorite movie (other than The Godfather) on the big screen this Thursday, which I'm not ashamed to say will probably be the highlight of my week.

Not so good things: I've had to deal with my share of injuries and illnesses; between a slight summer cold, random tendonitis flair-ups and a mysterious back pain that landed me with pain killers and an appointment in physical therapy, it's been kind of ridiculous. At least it gave me an excuse to avoid my laundry and stay in bed watching tv? Trying to be positive...it's been a bummer being on bedrest for a week.

I'm moving back to Los Angeles on the 14th, and I doubt I could feel anymore conflicted about it than I currently do. Part of me dislikes the fact that I don't have a set plan after college, that I'm wandering aimlessly about until I find my place. I can't decide if I want to pursue graduate school in the study of film and screenwriting, or if I should go straight to work. It's hard not to get a little cynical when all the odds are against me, but at the same time, I have to keep reminding myself that the odds have never stopped me before. All the odds were against me going to Cal and I beat them, and the odds were against me graduating with honors and I did that too. I've never let myself be intimidated by a challenging situation, and I just have to keep reminding myself that I've yet to fail a goal I've set for myself so I have no reason to be worried. It's just hard to not worry while I'm unemployed and confused.

On the bright side, I love Los Angeles and I cannot wait to be back. I'm excited to see my family and my LA friends, read by the pool, hike Runyon Canyon and Griffith Park, (finally) go for drinks at the Alcove's Big Bar , go to Outdoor Cinema Food Fest, going to the Griffith Observatory, check out the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA (even though I saw it in New York!), continuing to work on creating a writing portfolio, cooking in a fully stocked kitchen with all the gadgets you can imagine, and more. It'll be good, even though the change is a bit daunting. I'll be okay, though--I always am.

no sense of time.

So much has happened...RA training is done and over with and I'm five days away from beginning my senior year of college. I've finally done an original trilogy Star Wars marathon and I'm almost done with Scorsese on Scorsese. I'm working on my speech for my little brother's Bar Mitzvah (which is less than a week away) and prepping work for my DeCal. I've made a bajillion new friends while managing to feel lonely, and I continue to realize that I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Growing up is fun, isn't it?

blame it on the bossa nova.

Summer is going well. I've had the apartment to myself for the past two weeks, and as much as it's fun pretending that I have my own place I'm excited for my housemates to get back. Lately I've been enjoying just being by myself; I've come to realize that there really are a very, very small number of people I can depend on, so why bother? A cynical view, I'm sure, but the truth of the matter is that as you grow up, people fall by the wayside. The more attached you are, the more it hurts when relationships disintegrate. I've always been the one to throw myself into friendships and relationships 110% and very rarely is it ever equally reciprocated. I'm done wearing my heart on my sleeve and I'm done always being available for people. Why should I be there if they're not there for me? This is one of those things I've learned while growing up; not an easy lesson but an important one.

Anyways...summer is good. Enjoying my solitude, trying out a lot of new recipes, exploring San Francisco, walking around Berkeley, working out, writing (despite this article, becoming a screenwriter is still my dream), helping to plan my baby brother's bar mitzvah (as he's soon to be a man!), etc etc. Oh, and studying for the LSAT once more, as I've decided that I want to take it again to see how I'll do a second time around. It's uninteresting perhaps, but it's simple life and I'm fairly content. Especially considering that this fall is going to be really busy, I'm glad that I have the time to cook and watch The West Wing all day. What more could I ask for?

And with that, I leave you with one of my favorite West Wing moments of season 2.

steady as she goes.

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. The last couple of weeks have been interesting, to say the least, and yet for some reason whenever I would sit down to try and document them I would find myself unable to come up with anything to say. I've had a lot happen and I'm quickly coming to terms with the idea that I only have a year of college left and a lot of important decisions to make in regards to my future...but more on that another day. This past weekend was about taking a break from all that growing up stuff and relaxing, which meant working out, movie marathoning, shopping, a sleepover with one of my best friends from high school and skyping with the family.


What more does anyone need in life other than a pint of good coffee ice cream?


Only some of the movies I've seen the last few days; I also watched Manhattan and Singles.


Working on the class that my friend Nadine and I are teaching in the fall. It's going to be really great, and I'm excited to have the opportunity to teach!


Summer means hats, stripes, and funny faces!


and, here's some Jack White (in The Raconteurs) for your time.

blackbird.

Lately, I can't sleep. I brush my teeth, turn off my computer and the lights, play a game of solitaire and attempt to fall asleep. For the last couple of weeks, it's failed. I've tried everything, from hot tea to soothing music, and none of it has been working. For some reason or another, I have too much on my mind to be able to rest, and the last couple of nights I've had a variety of strange dreams when I DO manage to fall asleep. Last night was ridiculous; after the LSAT I got home, ate dinner, watched a couple of episodes of Buffy and attempted to go to bed at 11:00pm, only to be awake until 4:00am. When I did fall asleep, I managed to have one of the most upsetting dreams in recent history; needless to say, I didn't feel very rested when I woke up this morning. I honestly don't know why I'm so stressed; I'm done with the LSAT and despite having tons to do for my AA job, I have a lot of free time now! Time to sleep, read, write, eat, cook, photograph, explore, enjoy...so why am I feeling so anxious? Gah. Hopefully this is just a phase.

Other than that, things are pretty damn good. My first program is on Saturday (watching the USA v. England game!), so I have to put that together but I'm really excited about it. And, a week from Thursday, my mom and brother will be up in Berkeley, and I'm so excited to see them! It's been too long and I really miss spending time with them. I'm excited that it's FINALLY summer and that I can take the time to really take care of and nurture myself. It's time for me to stop looking back at this past year, as amazing as it was, and start applying more time to thinking about not only the future, but the present as well. Life is good, and it's time to enjoy it!

LSAT free is the way to be!

I took the LSAT today and now, it's officially summer!

Real update to come, I promise :)

shine a light.

It's been awhile since I've updated, and I'd love to say it's because I've been out enjoying summer but that would be a total lie. Basically, all I've been doing is studying for the LSAT and catching up on tv...I've watched the entire sixth season of Grey's Anatomy and the first two seasons of Skins so far. Pathetic? I guess. But you've got to remember, I haven't had time off in ages, and I can only do logic games for so many hours at a time. And, since it was the first week of summer, and the only week before summer school started, pretty much everyone went home, leaving Berkeley a ghost town, and so it was a good week to stay in. In any case, I've studied a lot, I've made a huge dent in my "must-watch" list, and I've started to catch up on my sleep, so hurray!

However, that doesn't mean I didn't go out at all...! I went out to brunch with Morgan last Wednesday and spent the day in San Francisco with Misha yesterday.


Morgan's breakfast.


My breakfast! My obsession with french toast is getting slightly out of control; I've come to the conclusion that it's one of the best meals for college students (easy, delicious, cheap, and nutritious) and so I've been making it a lot more frequently. However, this cinnamon brioche french toast blows mine out of the water by far.


And on to San Francisco! First stop, the piers outside the Ferry building. That's the Bay Bridge!


I don't even know what this is, but it's awesome. Located in Ferry Park.


Close-up.

SO! Fun story. We were in Ferry Park, walking around, and we see that there's a production of Peter Pan occuring. We approach the ticket booth to see how much the cheapest tickets are, when we're approached by a lady selling her tickets and we end up spending $20.00 each on seats that were originally $125.00! Not only that, but their location was perfect, we got free drinks, programs, and audiobooks, AND the show was super cool. One of the best spontaneous decisions I've made in awhile!


One of the best deals, ever.


Programs!


This was the Lost Boys home on the stage. The set was amazing...I didn't really get any good pictures of it.


Luckily, there was a picture in the program!


After the play we walked through the city.


I love love love living next to a big city. The buildings are so impressive!


Cool lion in Chinatown.




Chinatown.


We found a Banksy!






Nothing like bad grammar to make me smile, haha.


Their intention was noble, but their execution was questionable.


Another Banksy!


We went to this record store in North Beach that was ridiculously awesome. I really wish I had a record player because their selection was amazing, gahhh.








I ended up getting these posters to decorate my apartment next year, and one for my brother. I'll give it to him when he comes up with my mom to visit at the end of June, hurray!


I really love walking around San Francisco...so much to see and discover. I want to try and spend a lot of time there this summer, if possible.


After a long day exploring, I got back to Berkeley in time to watch the LOST finale! I know I've never really written about it, but it's one of my favorite television shows (coming in second after The West Wing), and so I wore my LOST shirt proudly. After sleeping on it, I've come to the conclusion that was an amazing finale to a brilliant show, and I'm really content.


My nail polish collection! I realized that I have most of the rainbow...and a new addiction? Ahhhhh.


This is relevant only because I bought a new color ("Suzi Skis in the Pyrenees"), which is a dark charcoal gray, to celebrate me getting STRAIGHT A's this semester!

Anyways, things are good. The LSAT is challenging but it's keeping me busy. I'm catching up on a lot of unwatched television, which is relaxing, and I actually bought a novel to read for fun. I'm also trying to work on a script that I've been writing this past year...I don't have that much done, but the ideas are all there. I really want to bring it to life, and for the first time in a year I finally have time to just sit down and write; hopefully something good will come of it. And! I just found out that I get to move this Wednesday (instead of after the LSAT) which makes me ridiculously happy, and today my mom scheduled a trip up in which she and my brother will come visit me for the first time! I'm so excited to see them because I miss them SO MUCH. I miss my dad too, but he's busy working, sadly. Hopefully I'll go home in July for a bit, but I have to talk to my boss about it first. As for now, time to go back to my LSAT lesson book...the exam is two weeks from today! Time flies by so quickly, it's ridiculous.

school's out for summer!

Today was the longest day I've had in a long time: waking up early to study, my last final of the semester, a quick trip to San Francisco for an internship interview, back to campus to finish my LSAT reading and catch up with Katie, LSAT prep class for three and a half hours, and finally getting home, only to eat some of the sourdough bread I got in SF (see: picture above) and catch up on How I Met Your Mother. Ridiculous day, but it was really productive. Even though I'm exhausted, I'm content.

I just finished my first year at Berkeley, and my junior year of college. Holy shit.

Hello, summer!

where is my mind?

The last few weeks of the semester are so stressful! I'm counting the minutes down until it's summertime; despite the stress of the LSAT, writing law school applications, commuting to my (likely) internship in San Francisco, starting my RA job, and (finally) moving, I CAN'T WAIT. I decided not to take a summer class and focus on applying to law school instead. It wasn't the easiest decision, because if I had taken a class this summer I wouldn't have to take an elective my last semester, but eh, whatever. You can't win them all, right? I can't believe I registered for my penultimate semester of college today; it's completely surreal.

Lately, I find that I'm easily distracted. Like, after writing this sentence, I checked my personal email, my school email, facebook, twitter, tumblr, changed the song on iTunes (from the Pixies to Glee, in case you were wondering), and finally came back to this thought. Putting aside that I have more social networking sites than any one person should, I simply have no attention span for anything. Today, I was intent of working on a difficult paper I have that's due Tuesday...but I can't work without a clean desk, and cleaning my desk turned into cleaning my room which turned into not getting any (school) work done. Productive procrastination? I've mastered it. I need to focus, damnit! I only have two weeks of actual class left, dead week, and then finals...so close!

Anyway, I'm going to attempt to do some reading before going to bed, if I can manage to focus on the novel at all. I'm currently reading Olivia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower for my Atomic Age class, if you were wondering.

Here's some classic Pixies for your time; it's definitely relevant to this post. Enjoy!

almost there

I move in August 17th. It's so soon! Especially since I'll be out of town from August 8th-15th. The 16th is for seeing my best friends one last time and going to go see the Gin Blossoms in concert (despite what anyone will tell you...the 90s will never die! at least, in my heart). I'm almost all packed, there's just a few things missing...honestly, the hardest part is going to be saying goodbye to everyone I love.

But that's then and it's now, and right now I'm just dealing with things day by day. That's how you've got to do it! Otherwise, everything is really, really overwhelming, haha.

orientation and related musings.

I had written up an entire blog about CalSO (the new student orientation) but I deleted it; it felt too wordy without saying anything. CalSO went well, it was a long (12 hour) day with WAY too much information but by the end of the day, I was sure of a few things:
-I desperately want to be a Media Studies major
-the campus is ridiculously hilly
-there is SO MUCH to learn
-the people there really, truly admire transfer students, and will do anything to accommodate them and make sure they don't feel left out
-the College of Letters & Sciences having a 13unit minimum is seriously weird (why not 12??)
-good shoes/socks are a must
-a LOT of cute fellas
-community college DID prepare me for Cal
-I'm going to be okay living there
-I made the right choice regarding what school to go to

This summer has flown by, and to think I only have a month before I move is ridiculous. There's so much to do and not enough time! Also, the fact that I know the next time I'll be in LA will be Thanksgiving makes me want to explore my city even more.

I've been thinking about the way things panned out a lot lately. I didn't want to go to a community college, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20 and I can definitely say that going to a CC was the best decision I've ever made. If I didn't, I'd be at CSUN or at the Los Angeles Film School...definitely not on my way to the the best public university in the country. Not that there's anything wrong with those two options, but they just weren't right for me. I've met some of the most amazing and some of the most terrible people the last couple of years, and both sets have taught me valuable lessons in honesty, compassion, kindness, and group leadership. It was a hard couple of years, not knowing where I was going to end up, but the uncertainty was totally worth it.

To any of you going through the CC system...don't give up. It's a good system, once you know how to navigate it, and it's one that's there to work for you. Trust me, you'll make it, and you'll be a better person for it.